Thursday, July 11, 2013

Not so Mysterious...

You always hear that the Lord God/ All Mighty/ The Universe works in mysterious ways. I'm starting to believe that it's not as mysterious as it is believed.

I graduated from college thinking that I would get a job in my field right away like my best friend did. Wrong. I stayed unemployed for months without a glimmer of hope that I started work as a caterer in a new town with a new/old boyfriend (one of those break up to make up situations) and my almost year old puppy. Turned out to be a mistake getting back together with this ex..(have to remember they are an ex for a reason or multiple reasons in my case). I had to move back home with my mom and quit my job all in one day. I felt like such a failure. I wanted so much for my relationship to work out after all the years of energy and time and love that went into it. I had to put my mental/ emotional/ spiritual/ physical health first (sadly, all four were in jeopardy) as well as the safety of my puppy. Yes, she's just a dog but she is a life that I had assumed responsibility for and I wanted to give her all the love I could because she gave me all of hers. I was mentally and emotionally abused while my spiritual beliefs were put under scrutiny all while being threatened to be put out on the street by the man who said he loved me and wanted to marry me. I knew that I had to get out. I knew that I could not and would not live my life trying to please someone just so I could have a roof over my head. One day we had an argument over something so small it wasn't important to store it in my memory and the next thing I know, I'm in a full-body lock down. No room to even roll my eyes. I Hauled ass!!

on a side note- Why do we women put up with so much? I found my personal answers as to why I did what I did, all thanks to Iyanla Vanzants work on Broken Relationships and Betrayal Why do men feel the need to degrade the women they love? What is the need to show physical dominance over your woman? Is there an inferiority complex that is held? So many questions come to mind...

Back on track- I moved back home with my mom and two weeks later my dad calls and asks for my help to take care of my sickly grandmother. I stayed with her for 3 months and did everything for her. It was not an easy task at all. She likes things to be a certain way. It was definitely a learning experience. We bumped heads many times but I always had to check myself. No matter what she may do or say, she's my grandma and I love her so much. I took a lot of crap but she deserved to be pampered after all the hard work did throughout her life. My dad sometimes gave me a little pocket change and I figured that since I had all the basics covered, when someone was in need I would give what little I had. I was blessed to have received a job in my field and I was just offered an opportunity to be a permanent guest on an online radio show Wednesday nights. I feel really blessed to have this.

Is it such a surprise? I think not. I've been trying to live as positively as I can (Yes, I still have my down days but I try to climb out of it), I give when and what I can. Have I not stated that positivity breeds positivity? I am living proof. I expect things to only get better as long as I keep doing better and spreading positive energy.

I plan on changing the world one day, one person, one moment at a time. For my people, for my family and for my future children if I am to be blessed with them.

We are promised greatness as long as will give it out as well. There is no mystery behind it.